Ah, and so with tears sliding down my cheeks I begin this emotional post... even after a year of knowing what the future held saying goodbye to my precious family, looking into their eyes and having to tear myself away has never been harder. I could not have a more encouraging and supportive family, but that makes it all the more difficult to leap out into the unknown without them. My family, my home has been my ultimate comfort zone. It is so warm, inviting and loving. But, I know in my heart that the only way I will learn about myself and grow past my expectations is to push myself out of my comfort zone, make myself a little uncomfortable at first and take that leap of faith.
Our family is so close, I know the bonds will remain strong despite the distance. I've already moved 3 times with Boots and the change is never easy for me, but it's always worth it in the end. We're about to embark on a great adventure on a tropical island. Life is good. This is going to be great. I love my life with Boots and wouldn't change a thing.
Leaving really set in for me today when Boots emailed me a copy of his orders and my area clearance that we've been waiting on. We have our new PO box address. I'm so relieved to to finally have everything we need, but seeing it on paper made it absolutely, 100% official that we are definitely moving to Japan. For. Real.
Today was spend completely with my family. Mom, Dad and my big sister all took off from work and we spent the morning in Alexandria, had lunch together at a cafe, had a relaxing afternoon with a nice fire in the fireplace, Mom made a delicious dinner and then we curled up on the couch to watch the Olympics (and American Idol during commercials).
Tonight my sister gave me a letter that really opened up the waterworks. I've been trying to hold it together, but just reading a few words of her card get me going again. My sister also gave me something back. Before I got married over 2 years ago I gave my sister a Friendship Heart. There is an English tradition of how a special token is passed back and forth through the years between, in our case, sisters. Tonight she passed it back to me to have for a while, then I'll pass it back to her when I think she needs it. I want to share with you the special poem she put in the card along with her beautiful letter:
"I Carry Your Heart With Me, by EE Cummings
I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"
I could not possibly be more blessed and fortunate to be apart of this family! My Mom and I frequently say this to each other "We may be apart, but we're always close at heart." It couldn't be more true.