Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Always Close At Heart

Ah, and so with tears sliding down my cheeks I begin this emotional post... even after a year of knowing what the future held saying goodbye to my precious family, looking into their eyes and having to tear myself away has never been harder. I could not have a more encouraging and supportive family, but that makes it all the more difficult to leap out into the unknown without them. My family, my home has been my ultimate comfort zone. It is so warm, inviting and loving. But, I know in my heart that the only way I will learn about myself and grow past my expectations is to push myself out of my comfort zone, make myself a little uncomfortable at first and take that leap of faith.

Our family is so close, I know the bonds will remain strong despite the distance. I've already moved 3 times with Boots and the change is never easy for me, but it's always worth it in the end. We're about to embark on a great adventure on a tropical island. Life is good. This is going to be great. I love my life with Boots and wouldn't change a thing.

Leaving really set in for me today when Boots emailed me a copy of his orders and my area clearance that we've been waiting on. We have our new PO box address. I'm so relieved to to finally have everything we need, but seeing it on paper made it absolutely, 100% official that we are definitely moving to Japan. For. Real.

Today was spend completely with my family. Mom, Dad and my big sister all took off from work and we spent the morning in Alexandria, had lunch together at a cafe, had a relaxing afternoon with a nice fire in the fireplace, Mom made a delicious dinner and then we curled up on the couch to watch the Olympics (and American Idol during commercials).

Tonight my sister gave me a letter that really opened up the waterworks. I've been trying to hold it together, but just reading a few words of her card get me going again. My sister also gave me something back. Before I got married over 2 years ago I gave my sister a Friendship Heart. There is an English tradition of how a special token is passed back and forth through the years between, in our case, sisters. Tonight she passed it back to me to have for a while, then I'll pass it back to her when I think she needs it. I want to share with you the special poem she put in the card along with her beautiful letter:

"I Carry Your Heart With Me, by EE Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)"

I could not possibly be more blessed and fortunate to be apart of this family! My Mom and I frequently say this to each other "We may be apart, but we're always close at heart." It couldn't be more true.

5 comments:

Aliya said...

Aww, Evie, this brought tears to even MY eyes! I love you and I know your family will miss you terribly (just like the rest of us), but that they, too are so excited for you to embark upon this amazing adventure :)

Mary and Sean said...

Leaving family is one of the hardest things we have to do as military wives! But once you get settled here, it will get easier. That's not to say that I still don't have my bad days, but isn't it great to have skype, facebook, etc? It's actually pretty easy to stay connected with loved ones.

Have a safe and easy trip over here!

Kate said...

My sweetest Eve, I know this must be hard for you. Change and leaving family is hard for everyone, but I think it must be especially hard for you. You have chosen what won't always be the easiest of paths, but (if my experience is anything to go on) you will reap so many rewards. I know (oh yes, trust me... I know) how hard it is to say goodbye not knowing when you'll see family and friends again, but I find that it helps to focus on what you're gaining instead of what you're losing. You two are going to have so many adventures, and you are just going to GROW and blossom. Remember that when you feel overwhelmed! I love, love, love you, and I can't wait to have you closer to me. Send me your Japan address asap so I can send you something special! :)

Mary said...

Truly, I am so, so incredibly blessed to have you as my sister. You gave me a some waterworks of my own just now!

And so your journey across the world has begun -- the next few weeks are going to be so full of Time-of-Your-Life experiences! Enjoy every moment and take a million pictures. :) And then at end of this particular adventure, you'll be in your new home on a tropical island.

I love you Beavis. And I need to download Skype, asap!

shopgirl said...

I just found your blog and stumbled upon this post. It is a lovely poem and it's so coincidental because I recently wrote an inspirational post with a poem by E. E. Cummings.

p.s. you are blessed to have a lovely family.